Mother’s Day is such fun. It’s a day all about moms! You get to sit back on the couch, watch whatever you want on TV, have your family wait on you hand and foot and if you’re lucky, you even get presents.
Right? Yeah, my Mother’s days have never been quite like that either. You still have meals to make, messes to clean and faces to wipe. It’s not like it’s a paid holiday.
My children are not really ‘children’ anymore. They’re young adults and teens. B is 19, H is 18 in July and R is 13. They don’t really need me to do much for them anymore. They know that when mom hasn’t started dinner at 7 pm that they better utilize the cereal or frozen dinners I stock up on. They’re smart kids.
I don’t necessarily feel all that ‘motherly’ anymore. Sure, I still remind them to shower, brush their teeth and clean up their own crap but otherwise, I feel more like a frat house supervisor at times.
A frat house supervisor? I hear you ask. And the answer is, yes. There’s less playing, teaching and cute ‘write it in their baby book’ moments going on in my house than there used to be. There are a lot of bodily noises, yelling, cursing, fighting, eating everything in one sitting, begging (sometimes this one is me), borrowing my car, my debit card, and hiding the remote so you can finish just one show.
I no longer get the misspelled notes, fingerpaint handprints and flowers picked from the neighbors’ yard. Do I miss that? Yes, sometimes. I do wish kids stayed kids a bit longer than they do. It truly does go by in the blink of an eye.
Teenagers and young adults though, they’re fun. I’m not exactly the ‘child-friendly’ mom, at times. (or so I’ve been told) I have a mouth like a sailor, I still laugh at ridiculous words and I taught my kids how to make their own breakfast without waking me up very early on. Now I don’t have to censor myself. If I never want to ‘run to the store’ I have kids with a license and car they can drive. If I need the trash taken out, I can just yell a name (and hope I don’t mix it up with a pet’s name) or just yell in general, whoever shows up first, takes out the trash. It’s kind of nice, actually.
I’ve not come to these revelations easily though. I’ve had my fair share of panic attack moments, realizing that at some point they will want to leave me no matter how nice to them I am. They will one day go days, maybe even weeks, without calling me and instead of calling them relentlessly until they finally answer, I’ll need to learn to be patient and trust that they haven’t completely forgotten about me. I’m not looking forward to that.
So, I would like to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to those mothers who don’t feel as motherly as they once did. You did your job, you raised amazing kids and I’m sure they appreciate everything you’ve done for them. Make yourself a martini, put your feet up and watch whatever the hell you want today. If a child (adult child, teen child, grandchild, it doesn’t really matter) does show up to pamper you, let them. You’ve earned it.
Happy Mother’s Day, to my own mother and mother-in-law. Neither of whom we call or visit quite enough. We still love ya though. <3 <3