I’m gonna tell y’all a little secret (and maybe a complaint or two.) I want to start with some back story so you know where I’m coming from first.
Like everyone else on the planet these days I suffer from near debilitating anxiety at times. Not all the time, and not every day but, (& I’ve only ever admitted this to my husband so outing my own personal crazy is hard) I can not get into a car and not fear the worst every single second of the drive. And I mean, EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. Sometimes, I begin worrying and dreading days or weeks, sometimes even months ahead of time. I can not control it. I can not talk myself out of it. You’d never know it was happening if I was sitting in your passenger seat but I’m tormented from the moment the car starts until it’s arrived safely at its destination. This doesn’t happen during little in town trips but if we are going more than about 20 miles, it’s sure to hit me. Once we get to our destination safely, I thank God and then begin the worry about the drive back. It’s so consuming that I can’t even enjoy whatever it is we’re doing. It started about two years ago out of the blue, I can’t even pinpoint the exact trip it hit me for the first time.
I used to be one of those women who could sleep, read, work on my computer, all sorts of crap while I was in the car. Not any longer. I could be on my death bed and still wouldn’t be able to close my eyes in a car. I do a lot of gasping under my breath, leaning away from the cliff side of the road, and throwing my hands out in front of me bracing for the impact of a crash that isn’t happening, With my husband, I beg him to slow down over and over even though he’s not speeding, and I spend literally every single second picturing the most horrific of car crash scenes.
Maybe, it’s because I worked in healthcare for so long and have heard and seen horrific car crash aftermaths. Maybe, it’s because I had a hysterectomy at 30 and my hormones have diminished causing a chemical imbalance. Maybe, I’m just certifiably nuts and am tormenting myself? Who freaking knows.
Now that I’ve told you this part, I can move on with my story… I take Xanax when I’m feeling this overwhelming anxiety. For me, a Xanax is like downing three bottles of wine in a ten minute period without ever using a glass. I’m almost immediately out, which I suppose is like being relaxed, but the aftermath of the Xanax is of a concern too.
I call it the day after Xanax haze. My brain is foggy, I’m tired, and… this is the best part for my family… I’m BITCHY, yes, in all capital letters. The sensor I hardly have is completely gone and if you cross my path you are bound to hear exactly why I think you’re a complete fucking idiot. It’s not anything I haven’t thought before that moment normally, but I’m guaranteed to let you know, and feel the tiniest bit better afterward.
I promised to go live last Friday with my ‘read bad reviews’ weekly video but considering I had taken a Xanax the night before, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I’m totally fine being known as a mouthy bitch but I’m not totally fine making someone feel like total shit that I don’t actually know. Granted, some of these people need to be told what a fucking idiot they are, and they will when I can do it in a tad classier of a way.
So, my ‘read mean reviews’ will come to you live on my author Facebook page on Wednesday at noon MST. If you’ve written a bad review of Little Gray Dress and can’t take the heat like you expect me to do as an author, I suggest you steer clear. If however, you’d like to listen to what I have to say about your review (which I think is only fair, readers are allowed to bash us, writing a review is the same kind of thing, it’s your public opinion which authors are allowed their opinion on) then make sure you tune in. I promise it’ll be more funny than mean, but that said… sometimes humor can come out of the most honest of statements.
Tell me in the comments below… what gives you anxiety OR leave your favorite bad review and I’ll read it aloud on Weds with a shout out to you and your fab book (rom/com books please).
btw – I heart you Kristen Bell… & that jealous biyatch just wishes she was as pretty and talented as you! <3
btwbtw – If you still need to grab your copy of Little Gray Dress, you can do so here – myBook.to/LittleGrayDressU – 136+ mostly great reviews and counting! THANK YOU!